Matthew 19:4-6
4 And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who [a]made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’
5 and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?
6 So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”
Now I may be jumping around fairly quickly this morning because there are several things I want to touch on for you all.
The scripture says in verse 5 that you will leave your father and your mother and become one flesh. This means that what is hers is yours and what is your is hers.
When my wife and I got married everything that we owned became one. That means that when I wanted to drive the her car I could and if she wanted to drive my truck she could. We may say that the car is her car or the truck is my truck, however we are one flesh which means the cars is both of ours and my truck is both of ours and we can drive whichever one we want even thought we may say the truck is his and the car is hers.
I have seen a lot of huge arguments and even have heard of some divorces because a couple started out with his checking and her checking and this is how we will split the bills. It is important to understand that when we got married we became one. That mean that my wife and I put our money together and we pay our bills and we discuss and agree upon big purchases. There is no mine and hers it is ours.
Now, there is a number one verse that every man loves to use for a weapon against his wife and that is:
Ephesians 5:22
22Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.
24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
Every husband that is having problems with his wife will use this verse and the basis of his marriage. This is a true verse out of the Bible and it does say to submit.
However, it does not say to be controlling, abusing your wife physically or abusively. It does not say to be hateful or mean. As a matter of fact it even goes on to give husbands instruction as well. That's the part that most men want to ignore.
Ephesians 5:25-27
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,
26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word,
27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.
And gave Himself for her: Jesus’ action towards the church is a pattern. This helps us define what agape love is all about: it is self-sacrificing love. How should a husband love his wife?
This word is especially needful for husbands who see headship in submission with worldly understanding instead of godly understanding. Some husbands think that because God said they are the head of the home and the wife is obligated to submit to them that they do not have to be humble, lay down their lives, and sacrifice for the benefit of their wife. You need to understand the difference in thinking between worldly headship and godly headship.
- Worldly headship says, “I am your head, so you take your orders from me and must do whatever I want.”
- Godly headship says, “I am your head, so I must care for you and serve you.”
- Worldly submission says, “You must submit to me, so here are the things I want you to do for me.”
- Godly submission says, “You must submit to me, so I am accountable before God for you. I must care for you and serve you.”
Ephesians 5:28-33
28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.
29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.
30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones.
31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”
32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. When you are getting annoyed with your spouse you need to remember that “Love is patient, Love is kind”. You must control your frustration and anger.
1 Corinthians 13:5
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. If you and your spouse are in an argument, that does not give you the right to dishonor your marriage and go looking for another outlet like another women or man. You married her and you should honor her as well.
Ephesians 4:32
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Forgiveness is a choice, it’s not about letting them off the hook. It is about releasing the resentment.
Men, if your wife is a stay-at-home wife you should not come home and tell her I make all of their money, I work every day and you don’t. Don’t be telling me what to do. You are a provider, but she stays home and does your laundry, cleans your dishes, makes your supper, and cleans house all day among many other things. I can tell you from experience that she is as busy as you are at work most of the time.
Men, we know that you work hard and are very tired when you get home from a long day of work. This does not give you the right to yell, argue, be mean, or hateful to your wife.
Men you must learn to show your wife you love her in everything. Remember that all the little things can show you how much you love her as well. We have a electronic door lock that will open with a code. If I see my wife coming up to the door and If I am a hand free then I unlock the door and open it for her. When I am getting up in the evening and we are watching a movie then I make her a cup of coffee.
It even says in the Bible that a man should brew coffee for your wife. It says this in Hebrews!
Ladies, you have the ability to transform your man into someone that can propel your man into being a better husband. The way that you talk to your man will make the difference in the respect and love he has for you.
Ladies, if your man is folding laundry and washing dishes you should not criticize him. If you do he feels like you are trying to control him or put him down.
If your man says he can fix something let him do it. If he finds out he cannot fix it then he will call a repair man and get if fixed. If he feels that you believe in him he will feel more confident and it will avoid a huge argument.
If you are in public then make sure you say things that are good about your wife are husband, don’t tear them down. If you do this they will feel more respect for you and have more of a tendency to be more respectful and loving to you.
Husbands, You should make sure your wife knows that she is the Love of your life. She is the best thing that ever happened to you. If you are in a store and some lady walks by do not act like she is more beautiful than your wife. Always focus all your eyes, thoughts, and energy toward your wife.
No, the grass is not always greener on the other side, it may look good, but if you were over there, you'd start finding all of the snake and scorpions that was hiding waiting on you. Meaning that she may look good on the outside, however on the inside she may be someone that is totally deceitful.